بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
Sorry for the mess ups. WordPress is doing funny things!”
And she drove off leaving me all alone in a new place. I was not prepared for this. I was downright outraged. ‘How could she do this to me? What do I do now? How dare she leave me alone like this? I don’t even know the place nor the people! I was terrified?!’
My terror quickly changed to fury but, as I was surrounded by strangers, I was afraid to act out. I found the work load difficult, I found the other girls to be goody two shoes, I found the teachers too strict, I felt like I didn’t fit in, I absolutely loathed it. Most of all, I resented my mother for making me do something I hated.
No matter how much I tried to change my mother’s mind, she just wouldn’t budge. All my excuses would just fall on deaf ears and my father seemed scared to get in the middle of it. When we would start fighting about it daddy would suddenly disappear.
I eventually gave up realising that it was a choice of swim or sink. I could continue to resent and be very pessimistic about it or I could actually give it a chance. If I was going to remain here for the next 4 years of my life, then I needed to accept and attempt to make the situation better or else I was going to be miserable, I realised.
As time passed, I slowly found myself being filled with love and awe for my Apas. Unlike the school teachers they were quite chilled. They didn’t treat us like children but like adults who they had high expectations of.
They allowed us many privileges which we really enjoyed and took advantage of. My favourite privilege was unlimited access to the kitchen. On cold days we would spend our break in the kitchen making popcorn and coffee.
I found myself wanting to live up to the expectations of my Apas and not wanting to disappoint them, knowing we have to face the consequences, not only of punishment and privileges being taken away but disappointment and loss of trust from our Apas. This may sound like nothing to you but when you love someone and look up to them, then their disappointment in you is heart breaking.
I soon found myself thinking about making friends. Compared to my school friends they were good girls which was why I disliked them at first but as I got to know them, I began to question, ‘Why was good a bad thing?’
If they were good people then it means they genuinely cared and could be trusted. I didn’t have to do silly things to ‘prove my friendship.’ No matter how rude I was to them, they just brushed it off without plotting revenge. Basically, I soon realised they were people who would make genuine friends and it was silly of me to be pushing them away.
Their conversations soon proved to me that unlike my thoughts of them being some different species, who were like robots doing what they were commanded and were like these extra pious people who would be horrified if they knew anything about me, they were actually human like me.
They actually knew and spoke about general stuff like beauty tips and latest fashion crazes, love for food vs fear of gaining weight, cool crafts, embarrassing situations… basically they had normal conversations. Ok, I know they are normal human beings but at that time, I don’t think I realised.
What clinched my decision to befriend them was learning Ahadeeth on befriending and loving people for the sake of Allah..
قَالَ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم “ قَالَ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ الْمُتَحَابُّونَ فِي جَلاَلِي لَهُمْ مَنَابِرُ مِنْ نُورٍ يَغْبِطُهُمُ النَّبِيُّونَ وَالشُّهَدَاءُ ”
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said: “Allah, the Mighty and Sublime, said: ‘Those who love each other for the sake of My Majesty shall be upon podiums of light, and they will be admired by the Prophets and the martyrs.'”
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم “ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَقُولُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ أَيْنَ الْمُتَحَابُّونَ بِجَلاَلِي الْيَوْمَ أُظِلُّهُمْ فِي ظِلِّي يَوْمَ لاَ ظِلَّ إِلاَّ ظِلِّي ”
Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying:Verily. Allah would say on the Day of Resurrection: Where are those who have mutual love for My Glory’s sake? Today I shall shelter them in My shade when there is no other shade but My shade.