بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
What clinched my decision to befriend them was learning Ahadith on befriending and loving people for the sake of Allah.
The reward for just this simple action was too great for me to let go, especially knowing how much of sin I have committed. I could atleast attempt to balance the scale of my good and bad deeds.
I found myself letting go of all my reservations and befriending them with this intention. From what I had come to know of them, they were people who would help me find my way to the right path and closer to Allah. If my intention was to please Allah and of gaining the reward mentioned in the Ahadith, then only good could come out of it, right?
I also found myself starting to understand a little bit of the arabic language, an achievement that filled me with pride and joy. I always thought that it was something only for pious people and that it’s very difficult but I was beginning to accomplish it and I was not a pious or ultra dedicated person.
Basically, I gradually adapted and began to enjoy it. I don’t know when and how but I began changing as well. I began feeling bad for my actions. I began understanding how wrong it was. I began to repent. I began trying my best to be a better muslimah. I began worrying about my salaah and other acts of Ibadah. Alhamdulillah, today I’m a totally different person compared to what I was.
In the beginning, I hated my mother for doing that to me but now I am so thankful for what she did. Imagine if I had continued like that what a bad person I would be today. When I think about the type of person I was becoming, I’m filled with disgust at my younger self. I thank Allah everyday for guiding me and saving me from becoming a terrible person.
I didn’t want to burst this bubble that you seem to have of me being someone who’s just perfect and can solve all the problems in the world but I guess I feel you needed to know before I tell you what I feel is best for you to do. The fact that I was on the other side of the fence gives me a little insight as to what’s really going on here. I know you’re not going to like what I’m going to tell you now but as I said I’ve sorta been there.”
I finally stopped and took a deep breath before looking up at Khawla. Her reaction was one I should have expected. She looked at me with a very lost expression as of she wasn’t fully comprehending what was going on. I then saw her gaze moving side to side as if she couldn’t handle this, as if she was looking for some escape.
Luckily, I caught on that she was looking for an escape. When she bolted I was right behind her. She pulled the door open but I quickly slammed it shut, blocking it of with my body.
“Khawla dear, you can’t be doing this every time!” I exclaimed. “You should know by now that running from your problems just causes bigger problems. You can’t always be running of like that. You do know we live in a country with one of the highest crime rates. Running off like this is very dangerous.
I know you feel running helps clear your head but you just bolt off totally unaware of your surroundings. If you need time to digest it then tell me. Run somewhere safe and private, not in the middle of who knows where, otherwise get a treadmill or something, but I am not going to answer to your mother about how I lost you.”